Training to Climb
Just like a tomato plant our child needs training too.
Well, this looks like it is a gardening lesson.
The tomato plants need to be trained to climb straight up a pole. So are many other vines and fruit trees. If you leave them alone, they will survive but they won’t bear the best fruit and go everywhere.
In many ways parenting is like gardening.
I use slander bamboo poles to train the tomatoes and other vining vegetables. I carefully tie them to it with a twine. Everyday I check for new growths. I learned from the seasoned gardeners to clip off those extra shoots called sucker that steal energy from the fruit.
As plants grow taller, they need stronger support too.
Understanding discipline
In the same way our children too need direction to grow and to be all that they were meant to be.
It is our responsibility to provide clear guidance and show a path that they can walk on.
We do that a step to day and two tomorrow by creating a safe place where there is love, acceptance, trust, understanding, listening and grace.
To discipline is training to develop skills, character traits and habits.
The values and principles are like the bamboo poles that I tie the tomato plants to. They keep them on the right path.
Tie them with love, trust, care, building relationships and listening ears.
Effective discipline aims to teach children essential life skills, such as self-discipline, responsibility, and respect for others, while maintaining a positive and loving relationship.
It is also developing the innate abilities that they were born with.
Our children have an immense ability to be all that they were made to be. We have a great opportunity to see them grow to wonderful adults who can influence their world.
To discipline is not punishment.
How to create an effective discipline?
Keeping the End in Mind
The best way to discipline a child is Keeping the end in mind.
In saying ‘no’ to writing on the wall, the end purpose is to teach them to be good stewards and obey.
When we don’t give snacks before dinner we are teaching them self control and have appetite for meals.
In conclusion rules, guidelines and boundaries are not the end in itself. But the end results are.
We should keep in mind how we want our children to be by the time they reach eighteen years of age.
The right time
We can begin to train our children from the time they are young.
Someone said if a child can differentiate between ice-cream and vegetable they are ready to be trained.
Each child is different.
I was using the dust bin as an object to train my first born to listen and develop self control.
One day, as he was crawling towards the dust bin he stopped half way, looked back at me, gave a sly smile and kept crawling towards the trash can. At this moment I knew he was ready to be trained, he understood what he can do and cannot do.
I saw the readiness for discipline in my second son when he was six months old.
If parents are observant, intuitive and has certain amount of information about it they will know when to begin disciplining their child.
Happy Parenting
Please let me know how this has been helpful to you.